Violence

You were thrown to the ground

Your face cut and bruised

As my sacrificed lamb

Your life they abused

Your clothes became torn

As your blood flowed out

But you didn’t resist them

Not even with a shout

You tried to defend

First my life, then your own

As you hurled the small rock

Your loyalty was shown

The blue kite lay motionless

And I just stood there

Watching you suffer

With an unwavering stare

At the moment that a true friend

Would step in and stop it,

I ran away

And you I continued to omit

-kat vos

God's Love is BIG

You can't make plans with God. God is so big and so beyond our earthly expectations. The first day I stepped onto the City Kidz bus, I expected things. I expected God to change kids lives through me... I wanted to make a difference. Well, instead God started to do other things - He started to change me. Over the years that I've volunteered at City Kidz, I've been humbled, I've been broken down, and I've learned what love truly is.
I am a privileged individual. I've grown up in a stable Christian home, I've been given the basic necessities that I need and more, I've been blessed. But as a City Kidz volunteer, I have seen homes the complete opposite. Kids living in homes where they don't have two parents to love and care for them. I've seen kids not sure where the next meal is coming from. Growing up, I knew of the downtown core as a scary place, and not the place to be spending time at. God has humbled me to a sense of realization that my city is not defined by its poverty, but by its people. And each of these kids that comes onto the Big Red Bus defines this city.
As each child returns to the bus, their story is revealed more. Their joys of getting a new toy, their excitement of seeing a new movie, but also their pains, their struggles are revealed. Sharing the moments when they were in question when the next meal was going to be available. The moments when they wondered where Daddy was. God has opened my eyes to their pain. He has broken me down to see that they need love.
Christ says: "As I have loved you, so you must love one another". (John 13:34) One of the most amazing things about Christ's love is that there was no conditions. He didn't love just the famous, or the rich...in fact, he spent most of his time ministering to those of "low class." One of the most amazing things I've learned through volunteering at City Kidz is love. Each child needs love. Humans are MADE FOR LOVE. And many of the kids of this city don't get the love that they need. Yet, they still have love and need love and give love. The greatest moments I've experienced are the moments of love. That moment when a child grabs your hand while walking down the ally way. The moment when they run up to you to be embraced in your arms. The moment when they sit on your lap and whisper, "I love you too."
Today, as I walked onto a new bus route, I decided to leave it all up to God. Ultimately, He's got bigger plans. He's got it all figured out, I don't expect to change and lives -- All I expect from God is that He is gonna do some BIG stuff. Cause you know what - HE IS BIG.

wishful creations

Every relationship comes and goes, but every relationship shapes who you are. As I look back, there are things that I wish I had said...things that I wish I had done... but there's no chance for that now. It's all simply been ripped away before I had the chance.

It's been a long time since then, but when I look back at it, it seems like it was just yesterday. I remember times that we fed the pigeons popcorn in front of the hospital. He held the back and tossed the kernels towards the greedy birds. His little fingers grabbed fists of white fluff to be given to the birds. A smile rested on his bony face...he was happy. Smoggy air surrounded us, but it was so much fresher than the sanitized hospital room air. I stood a little ways off...watching the beautiful scene take place. I wish I could return to that day and also grab fists of popcorn to be tossed. I wish I could have sat down with him and laughed at the birds fighting over the small portions of food. I wish we had smiled together. But that didn't happen. Instead I stood as a lonely by standard and watched from a distance.

I remember the times camping, when he wanted someone to go 'bottle cap hunting'. Each day, he came back with a freezer bag full of Ol' Milwaukee, Coors Light, and some Labatt Blue. He carried those bottle caps like they were the only thing that was important to him. They were the conversation spark between relatives and complete strangers. They were the project of the week. They were special. He would admire each and every one. He would sprawl them out on the picnic table and choose his favorite one. I wish I could have had my own bottle caps. I wish I could have sat down with him and admired each unique cap. I wish I could have searched high and low through the campground finding these prized possessions of his. But it wasn't like that. I would be out at the beach, or riding my bike, or making a craft. I was too busy having 'fun'.

I remember the times you sat with people. You cuddled up on their laps. You snuggled against their warm body's heat. You fell asleep in their arms. You desired to be with them. You would always look so peaceful despite you throbbing pain. You would be happy to be in their presence. I wish I could have been that person, holding you in my arms and talking to you like best friends.Rather, I was sitting across the room admiring the love being shared. I was waiting my turn, but my turn didn't come.

I remember the time we ran through the hospital halls after taking the secret elevator. We ran as fast as we could to get back to the ward before our moms got there first. I remember your little legs moving a few yards in front of me. You would turn a corner and I would race up to see where you were next off to. I wish I had run a little bit faster so I was right beside you. I wish I had held your hand as we ran through those halls. But, I was behind you.

I wish I had read you one more story. I wish I had told you I loved you one more time. I wish that I could have given you one more embrace. I wish I could have more time. I wish I had one more chance... But God called you home. He took you before I wished I had that chance. Before I realized the outcome of my life as it is now, you were taken to Heaven's Gate. I look back on these things, and wish I had more time with you. I look back and wish...but I somehow do not regret.

I do not regret because our relationship, as faint as it may seem, shaped me. Our relationship has given me the desire to dig deeper, to find what shapes each soul. I do not want a 'surface' relationship with anyone. Instead I desire to see the architecture of each person. I want to attach myself to the soul of each individual. I search for a way to be rooted in their soul. I desire to search for their purpose, for what they truly desire. I desire to find each soul that may be lost or is still searching for a home. And I owe it to you.

Although our relationship may not have been the perfect relationship I wish we could go back and have, it is the relationship that has shaped me to be who I am.

Lactose hahas

kinda proud of the pun i made (:

thought i'd share.

Emily Vos

mmmm.... not trying to toot my own horn... but i just made some kick serious butt blue cheese dip!

23 minutes ago · ·

• • 

    Kat Vos when you say horn...do you mean butt??
    ...cough cough lactose...

    19 minutes ago ·

Toy Story 3

When a movie first comes out, its a hit!! The producers make a fortune and a half sometimes!! Kids, parents and elderly pile into the theaters to see what the newest movie is all about!

AND THEN....

Producers decide that the next thing needed is a SECOND MOVIE!! Its great!! The second is pretty much as great as the first...not as funny...but decent. The theaters are pretty full, but not as full as the first time around. Producers make a fortune, but they didn't hit the jackpot this time. Dedicated kids, parents and elderly come to the theaters. Mostly the dedicated ones who LOVED the 'first edition'. The kind of people who bought all the toys, shirts and any other kind of souvenir available from the "BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME!"

PROCEEDINGLY...

The original producers are LONG GONE and new ones figure "The third's a charm!"...but rarely is this true!! The third movie is usually a DUD! Because of the original story maker's lack of involvement, the emotional attachment is gone. The charming characters have become OLD NEWS...new ones try to encounter the plot line, but its nearly IMPOSSIBLE to fit the over sized shoes. These new creators are here for the money. The theaters are not near as full as the first time around. Those dedicated fans now bring their kids and kids' kids to see the movie that once was so popular in their day! But it's terrible! Although the addicts are LOVING it, the other spectators are lost. They have missed the first 2 movies and don't quite get where the plot is headed.

BUT...

Toy Story 3 ... now... that has changed this perspective. The producers KNEW the adventures of Woody and Buzz and their friends. They SAW these classic characters grow and change through their original appearances. They had seen small Andy grow up into a high school graduate and now going off to collage...

You see, these producers had it right. They knew that every single person out there has had that special toy. The "One and Only" of their childhood. They knew and they even experienced it themselves. They had accomplished that heartwarming childhood play - with that special toy that meant more than the whole entire world. They owned that toy which they carried with them every moment of their first 5 years. Those producers were also familiar with the stages of forgetting about that toy... the same way that Andy forgot about Woody and Buzz, Jessie and Bullseye, Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head...

We all knew the adventures traveled by the courageous friends, and started to become emotionally attached to them like they were our own toys. But time keeps going and those things that were important start slipping from our memory... and it becomes time for us, like Andy, to move along - remembering the good times and striving for what's to come.

ANDY: Now Woody, he’s been my pal for as long as I can remember. He’s brave, like a cowboy should be, and kind and smart. But the thing that makes Woody special is he’ll never give up on you…ever. He’ll be there for you, no matter what.

touched

Some kids will never forget. I'm not sure what I ever said to her to, but whatever it was, it printed a vivid picture of me into her. It's strange because i don't remember her name for the life of me. I tried so hard to think back to the Saturdays that I spent with her, but they just seem to be erased from my thoughts.

I smile remembering my first City Kidz bus. Bus 62 was always full of enthusiastic, loud, rambunctious kids so excited to get to the City Kidz theater. The red bus was ALWAYS full of singing kids as we stormed down the Hamilton Streets to the Playhouse Theater on Sherman Avenue.

I remember very few kids that rode on that bus, and I absolutely hate it that she has to be one of them. I wish a name could be put to her beautiful blonde hair, big blue eyes and broad smile, however when I stop to think about what her name is -- nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Despite not being able to recall the hours we spent together on Bus 62, I know a difference was made. And that's the point - right? I have always prayed that God would allow me to reach out and touch my kidz lives. Today I've found that I have. Somehow, I've reached out to this little girl. As she saw me in the theater today, she reached out to me and embraced me in a hug. Though the noise of other kidz singing and screaming, she said "I miss you!"

I thank God that he has answered my prayers. Although I'm not sure how, somehow I've been able to reach out to a child and in some way had the ability to touch their life.

SNOW DAY!

yesterday, we had no snow

today, we have a snow day.